Ah! I figured it out! I now know in what way I myself may be trying
to be the savior of the universe! Or, at least the vaunted center of
Facebook and Google+ attention (or Twitter, or whatever you're into) that so many people seem to crave so very, very much.
Not that any one person in a day and age where more and more of the
SEVEN BILLION PLUS people of the Earth are getting hooked up to the
Internet, could anyone actually ever truly be any real center of
attention for any sort of indefinite period of time, mind you.
And let's
be honest, most people on Facebook and the other social media sites are
just trying to build their own self serving little evil empire, while
mostly ignoring everyone else. Aren't they?
Well... not everybody, I guess.
But perhaps, it is through shameless, ribald psychoanalysis, that I may
be trying desperately to stand out above the rest of the bleating,
braying, needy herd. Or... I could just be somebody who doesn't buy into
BS all that readily.
Hmm.
Yes... I could just be somebody who can see
right through the usually transparent ways that people naturally (and
often, unconsciously) try to dominate and control their environment, and
everyone around them, via various forms of attention seeking.
Yeah. That's it! Yeah! I'll just keep
telling myself that. And when it comes to you doing whatever you may be
doing in your own self interest, you should keep telling yourself the
positive, "bright side" excuse for that, too.
I wonder if it could have anything to do with the fact that the original manuscript was so full of holes and inaccuracies about the real Tesla?
Because seriously, certain, presumably well meaning people are such blind disciples of Tesla, and have such a curious, conspiracy theory fueled hatred of Thomas Edison, that I sincerely doubt that they are even truly worshiping the real Tesla to begin with.
Yes, there was a definite rivalry between Tesla and Edison back in the day, but for goodness sake, people, why take sides? Both men are dead! Loooong since dead and gone! Who the hell is anybody to say who was the saint, and who was the sinner?
So... do I really want to download the new version of this book about Tesla the Almighty? The newest little tin god of the conspiracy theorist jet set? 'Cause, you know, they say he wanted to give us all free electricity, and only evil, capitalist bad man Edison prevented him from doing just that!
Hmm. Well, maybe so. Maybe... that's true, and Telsa deserves an altar in every home the world over. But I sincerely doubt it. So, I think I'll just read about both men, and make up my own mind.
Some
people really are just angry and in deep personal pain. There's no need to think
they're angry at you specifically, though. Nor do you have to take any
crap from anyone who seems overly tortured by things you don't even know
about, or couldn't possibly really understand anyway. Some people are
still just full of rage at everyone in their life who repeatedly humiliated them, or
simply gave them no voice to protect themselves with, at some point in their painful
past. And all this usually happened when they were too young and/or
powerless to be able to do anything about any of the injustices done to
them.
And sure, we should all just "get over it." That's what
they tell you, right? The Eagles even sang a great song about it. Though I'm not certain that anybody's suffering "inner child" needs its "ass" kicked, like it says in the song.... At any rate, sorry, kids, but just like any form of genuine Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder, it just doesn't work that way. Quite often, even if your conscious mind
thinks it's forgetting, then you're unconscious mind is probably just
repressing the pain.
And repression doesn't really help anyone. Because eventually, that angry ghost inside will manifest. And it
usually rears its ugly head in ways that even you (much less those
around you) can even begin to understand. That furious child inside
will come screaming out again and again and again - through substance
abuse, other addictions, anti-social behavior, or a number of other
seemingly unrelated symptoms of untreated anguish.
More often
than not, your conscious mind doesn't really know why you did this or
that, so you have to rationalize some excuse. Any excuse. "Well, I like to drink!" Sure, a lot of people like to drink. But not everybody likes it that much. "Well, that kid's a dumbass! He made me yell and call him
disparaging names that no child should ever hear! He forced me to be
the kind of angry monster my father was! He forced me to destroy his
fragile, still developing self esteem!" "Well, I'm just trying to keep
everybody on the straight and narrow with my constant, self righteous
Bible quotes!"
Sure. Whatever you say. Just like your angry,
holier than thou parents before you always had to rationalize things. Keep enabling, keep making excuses for them, and hopefully, if you
brainwashed them real good, they'll make excuses for you when you get
too damn old to either heal yourself, or repent for the damage you've done to others in your unconscious rage. Sure! Let that vicious cycle continue! By all means!
But whether anyone else
cares at all or not, personally, I choose to break the cycle. I choose to be conscious. I
choose sobriety and honesty. With myself and everyone around me. I
choose not to use substances as a balm for the pain. I choose self help through self analysis and introspection, and to try, every single day, to plumb the depths of both my
conscious and otherwise "unconscious" mind.
'Cause if you never
take out the trash, so to speak, after a while, the house you live in starts to
stink, real, real bad, doesn't it? Well, the human mind, just as much or more than the body IS your hearth and home. And after a while, if you don't keep your house good and tidy, nobody wants to come to
visit. Eventually, if you don't learn good self maintenance skills, even YOU can't stand to live with you.
So, I
will not just blindly carry on any old, abusive traditions. I patently refuse to pick on the freshmen, so to speak, just because when I was a
freshman, the seniors picked on me. So "the buck stops here," just like good old Harry S. Truman used to say. The abuse goes no
further. And if my sobriety, lack of self denial, or the fact that I
do have a painful past (just like a lot of other people, many who
suffered even worse than I did), bothers you, that's your problem. And
we all have problems, great or small. Whether our conscious ego wants
to admit it, or not.
Good luck with your own regimen of self help, if that approach works for you, and most of all, have a genuinely nice life, everyone!
PS - Anyone who has the sudden impulse to write in and complain that I didn't use the latest, cutting edge theories about psychology, psychiatry, or whatever, in the essay above... please... just don't. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or Scientologist, God forbid. Nor am I any of the other highfalutin "ISTs" currently making the rounds of the social jet set. And unless (and even if) you in fact are somebody holier than thou, I honestly don't necessarily need to know about it. Your minor corrections may be helpful to me, of course. Or... in fact, they may just be your own brand of self righteous "Bible quotes." Which is fine, but I fully stand behind my own ability to self analyze. Because, just like everybody else, I, ultimately, am the best judge of what will help me heal my own damn self.
A
drug is a drug is a drug is a drug. Some drugs are herbal, some mineral, some chemical. You want this or that drug
"legalized," for this, that or the other personal reason, that's fine, I
guess, but legalization of any potent, behavior and/or mind altering
substance doesn't make it any less of a drug. Likewise, the failure of
Prohibition doesn't mean that alcohol was never a drug. The mere fact
that Prohibition was implemented in the United States in the first place, shows that alcohol
is very often a very harmful socially acceptable drug.
It also
strongly suggests that most human beings don't exercise self control
very well. That's people for ya! If no one abused chemical or herbal
substances, like nicotine, marijuana and alcohol, every damn thing would be totally legal! Like shooting little kids and teachers.... Uh-huh. That would be legal, too, but... thank God, it isn't! Because,
likewise, a gun is a gun is a gun is a gun. Though, sure... some guns
are bigger or smaller than others. And some drugs are less beneficial
or more harmful than others.
Either way, the sudden entry into
the human body of a small lead projectile pretty much has the same
effect on all human beings, see. Regardless of age, race, sex,
nationality, etc, etc, ALL. Yes, the sudden introduction of a high
velocity lead (or even rubber) projectile into the human body either
seriously harms or even... kills the host. Bullets don't discriminate
when entering human flesh, and neither do drugs. But at least drugs
don't kill ya, right? Uh... some do. Sorry! Okay, but at least most drugs
don't enter the human body at high velocity, right? And that's a plus,
right? Yes, and... no. The effects of some more or even less potent
"recreational" drugs take literally years to fully manifest in the human
body. Look it up! I'll wait.
But that's the world we live in,
kids. Human beings do bad things with otherwise harmless stuff
sometimes. Yes, as sad as it may in fact be, many people simply do not
use things (and themselves, or even other people) in a very responsible way. Hence, the need for governmental regulation and sometimes, even the outright ban of certain things
that people tend to so often misuse. And it's not good fodder for conspiracy
theories, or anyone trying to poop your party. It's just bad old human
beings doing things they really shouldn't do, with otherwise beneficial stuff.
Like rocks, for example. Rocks are just rocks. A rock
is a rock is a rock is a rock. People build sturdy, beneficial things with
rocks. Rocks are good for all mankind! That is, until... some nasty,
emotional human or primate ('cause they have opposable thumbs, too)
picks up a rock and uses it to suddenly and quite gruesomely and
violently bludgeon someone else to death. Then... the
freedom to use and abuse rocks suddenly becomes, not a rock problem, but
a behavioral problem.
And I really wish all this talk about the
abuse and misuse of otherwise good stuff, was a lot more conspiracy
theory style entertaining, or damning of authority figures in general,
than it honestly really is. But... sorry, it honestly really just... isn't.
And
legal or illegal, alcohol and other potentially fun things that people
really love to use and abuse, don't really cause any problems (as the
age old argument goes). The people who consume large (or even sometimes
small quantities of them - because the effect of ANY drug, including caffeine varies, based on individual body chemistry) is what gives any
potentially beneficial drug a very bad name. And likewise, yes, every
single time some bad human shoots up (yes, shoots up - a little drug
pun for ya there) a school full of little (or even big) kids, a lot of
people are gonna seriously think real, real hard, yet again, about
taking everyone's "rights" away from them. Go figure.
So I guess the moral of the story is: Control thyself, young man (or woman)! Or somebody else will. And you can count on that.
My advice is, if somebody on Facebook annoys you, (even and especially me) even just a little, just drop 'em. No hard feelings. Just drop 'em. Or wait till they drop you. Block 'em if you have to, in the case that they don't get it. 'Cause sometimes, some people just don't want to get it.
Because let's be perfectly honest - social media, for many, many people, is really just a business endeavor. And that business is self promotion - whether most people who frequently utilize social media want to admit it or not.
Sure, some people make genuine friends on Facebook, and I myself really enjoy seeing everyone's pictures; whether what they're sharing is their honest to goodness pride in their artistic endeavors, to their favorite collectibles, or their pride in their family members. I'm good with all that, really. More power to ya! I salute and support you. As often as I can, in fact... by sitting and clicking "like" for hours sometimes, when I really could be doing something a lot more productive for myself.
Anyway, I've made a few really genuine friends on Facebook over the years myself. And you know who you are. There are a lot of people I've met on Facebook, in fact, that I value a great deal. I feel like I know them like I know many of the good people from my home town that I grew up with.
In fact, some of the people I've met via social media might even be better friends than some of the people I've known face to face throughout the course of my life. But still, there are many who don't really know me at all. And from what I can see from watching them, I honestly don't think they are really interested in me as a person anyway.
They want me to "like" their posts, bolster their almighty Friends List Number, buy their products, and agree with their politics, and... all that other stuff. Which is fine, I guess. Well, I don't know about anybody else, but I only have a certain amount of time for any of that. Maybe... because, like a lot of other people, in the final analysis, I'm just way too busy with my own problems. And with minding my own damn business.
So
I'm not an atheist. I know some people who think that that means I'm
really stupid, childish or superstitious, but personally, I think it's
pretty arrogant to just one day up and declare that you think there's no
God, and when we all die, absolutely nothing happens. Except the usual
scientifically proven stuff, of course, like decomposition of the human
body and all that.
Well... I mean, I think a person has every
right to say that they don't believe in anything they want to, but many
of the people who get really vocal about it are often very angry and
intolerant, and they're just using all the clear and present holes in
most popular religions to obfuscate the fact that they are in fact,
whether they want to admit or not, just plain intolerant. Just as, or
even more intolerant and hard headed in fact, than the religious people
they love to put down. They're also, whether they realize it or not,
not very supportive of religious freedom - which is a basic tenant of
any true democracy.
Of course, I've had moments in my life when I've
thought that maybe there is no God. I think most people have had those
thoughts from time to time in their life. Again... whether they admit
it or not. We all get down sometimes. We all get discouraged and
disillusioned, especially when things aren't going our way. After all,
there is a lot of suffering and cruelty in the world, and if you really
focus on it, life can be extremely disheartening. Sort of makes a
person want to pray... or prey upon those who do, maybe. Whatever the case may
in fact be, I think it's a little silly to think that choosing to not
believe in something that seems far fetched (based on current, ever
changing levels of scientific knowledge) makes anyone necessarily better
than anyone else.
But please don't polarize the issue for me,
thank you very much! I'm also not especially religious. So even though
I do believe in all sorts of things, I don't believe in getting too
involved in any type of group-centric behavior. I don't do political
parties or cults as a general rule. I do believe in karma, the focusing
of positive energies, and the genuine power of prayer, but like a lot of people, I've
personally witnessed and experienced some very negative aspects of organized religion. You know, the same stuff that makes some atheists get so mean and
intolerant. Overall however, I think religion, and having religious
freedom is extremely important in any society.
No, you don't have
to say "Merry Christmas" to me, or even "God bless you" when I sneeze,
but who is anyone to tell me or anyone else that they shouldn't be able
to say anything like that to anyone else? Or say a kid can't say the
Pledge of Allegiance with the word God among the verses? Anyway... HAPPY EASTER! I believe in some things, and don't believe in others. Just like everybody else. And I don't know everything. Just like everybody else. Whether they admit it or not. And what I do or don't believe in, just makes me
human. And flexible, really. Because if nature teaches us anything, it
is that rigidity kills. Living creatures that cannot adapt and change
must eventually die out.
Anyway, I'm not sitting permanently on
anybody's hotly contested fence, or firmly entrenched on either side of
it. I make up my own mind, based on any and all of the information
that's out there. Regardless of whether any church, state or
highfalutin scientific establishment outright dismisses it from the get
go. I have free will. I choose to believe or not to believe as I see
fit. Because most of all, what I really believe, is that true
rationality, true sanity, lies somewhere between any and all extremes.
