The Shameful Face of Social Media Narcissism

Don't ya just hate it when people personal message you, and always seem to want to gossip about their other "friends" on Facebook? I've unfortunately encountered a few people like that on "two-faced Facebook" over the years. By and large though, most of my social media friends haven't been that way, thank God, but just encountering even one or two folks like that can have the effect of really making a guy feel rather uncomfortable, and even more than a little suspicious.

But okay, fine. Whatever floats some people's social media boat, I guess. But seriously though, if you don't like something someone has said or done to you, just do your best to communicate with them about it personally. You know, FACE THE FACE, for crying out loud! Work it out, already. Or if the person is really THAT horrible, or just plain unapproachable, you could of course just unfriend or block them. And then just... move on with your life. For goodness sake, don't get mean, duplicitous, and snide about it.

PLEASE!

And whatever you do, don't right-click and copy your latest victim's Facebook profile picture, and then send it to me in a chat session, for God's sake! Yeah, seriously. That really happened to me recently. And though, to be fair and honest, I myself had had a prior (though certainly minor) bad experience with the individual in question, I gotta say that I still felt quite offended when my so called Facebook "friend" actually took the time and trouble to suddenly drop this dude's picture on me via chat.

I mean, how horrible! How juvenile even! So at the time, I was really left thinking, 'Sheesh! Are we all really still in junior high school?' I mean, come on! Worst of all, it left me wondering how I'd feel if somebody went to my social media of choice profile and did a right-click on my picture, just so they could run to another "friend" on Facebook (or wherever) and gossip about it!

But yes, I'd had a bit of a bad experience before, with the guy who was in the picture that my "friend" was suddenly sharing with me via Facebook chat. This dude (the one in the picture) had in fact friended me many, many months prior, only to then, very soon after, promptly unfriend me! Okay. Whatever, social media "friend" type person. Neither of us has ever even met FACE TO FACE, so who cares if you suddenly decided, first that you thought you liked me enough to friend me, and THEN, that you just as suddenly came to the conclusion that you really DON'T like me as much as you first thought you did.

Okay. Whatever.

Either way, it seems I managed to upset the guy in the picture my "friend" was suddenly presenting me with when he suddenly popped up in chat one day. Thing is though, at the time, he neglected to inform me that it was actually a multi-party chat session! And since absolutely no one else but he and I were commenting (and I really was busy at the moment and didn't notice that we weren't really having only a two way conversation), I naturally started to talk to this guy as if it was just him and me.

But to make a long story considerably shorter, when I finally figured all this out, I told this dude that, quite frankly, since I had not been informed from the get go, if I was going to have to chat with more than one person, I really didn't feel at all comfortable to continue.

This guy then replied, "X marks the spot," to let me know that all I had to do was close my chat window and be done with it. So I did. And very soon after, I of course discovered that Mr. Former Facebook Friend (which is what I think I'll call him here, because he honestly didn't even bother to so much as ask if I was free to chat at that moment - let alone inform me that it was a multiparty chat session) had suddenly unfriended me.

Okay. Swell! Great even. Done deal.

But apparently, we weren't quite done just yet.... Oh no. No. Nope. Uh-uh. Not even. You see, this dude, and my Other Facebook Friend are both big fans of a certain movie franchise. I love that particular movie franchise myself of course, but I've found that just because other people share my love of that particular sci-fi property, it does NOT mean that I actually have anything else in common with them.

It also, sadly, does not necessarily mean that I can trust, in any appreciable way, shape, or form, any of the people who gravitate together in any of the Facebook groups that celebrate this particular sci-fi movie franchise. Yeah.... Bummer. But hey, that's life, right?

But then, I often shudder to think how "social media" has (or should that be 'anti-social media?'), these days, apparently turned so many so-called "adults" into something suspiciously akin to sniveling little gossips and attention whoring, arm chair politicos, who crave image sharing "likes" and "following," and whom often seem to want nothing more than the power and attention gregariously bestowed upon them by simply becoming the much vaunted head honcho in some darned Facebook group.

Whoa, dude! This meme may be kinda harsh, but it certainly makes a very good point about spending too much time online.

And hey! Lots and lots of people still love Facebook, I guess, so there really is no need to pick on either that particular form of social media, or on all the literally millions (including yours very truly) who honestly do sometimes benefit from it.

Whatever the case may in fact be for anyone and everyone involved, I really must get back to the real issue at hand. Which is that, while responding to what might actually turn out to be a form of chat session baiting, I might even actually end up initially agreeing with someone, that this or that "friend" (that they've decided to target this time around) really is kinda weird, annoying, or in some other way unpleasant.

And why not, right? It's only natural, after all, that when a "friend" approaches you with a grievance about someone they think is creepy, annoying, or even just mildly or entertainingly offensive, that as a friend, I should feel compelled (at first) to take their side in the matter. Of course!

I mean, ain't that what real friends are for?

But then again... if you're coming to me with that kind of clandestine venom about someone you are still very much "friends" with on Facebook (even though that particular person is clearly no longer MY friend, and you damn well KNOW IT), isn't it only natural that I should end up wondering what you are probably also saying about ME behind MY back?

Hmm. Or maybe you're just enjoying the process of pushing my buttons yet again. Maybe you're just manipulating me to get what you want via Facebook, a media platform that surreptitiously gives you ready access to scads and scads of unsuspecting folks that don't know who you really, truly are BEHIND THE AVATAR. Whether you even so much as realize all this about your narcissistic social media celebrity seeking self or not....

So think about all this, my "friend." If you haven't already, you really should. Think hard. Think long. What you're up to really isn't all that hard to figure out, you know. And the more you do it, the more obvious it's going to become to others - no matter how clever you may think you're being in the matter.

Really makes ya wonder sometimes, doesn't it, who people REALLY are BEHIND THE AVATAR?

Okay, I confess! There absolutely are people I myself really, honestly don't like a whole heck of a lot. But then, let's "face" it, pretty much everyone has people in their life that they simply don't particularly care for, or just need to complain about every now and then, don't they? I mean, who doesn't get annoyed with some (or even many of) the people around them sometimes? We may even (and especially) dislike or just have "issues" with family members and co-workers. Surely, all these interpersonal conundrums are normal in most cases, right?

So I guess it's just plain human to feel upset at various people for all sorts of reasons (great and small) from time time. That's just the nature of most typically flawed human relationships, after all.  And when we feel this way, as perfectly normal human beings, most of us usually do need to vent a little. And why not?

See, I figure that venting, and simply letting it all go with the help of someone you can really trust, is what good, healthy relationships are really all about. Well, I'm no practicing psychotherapist, mind you, but I really do know how to be a genuine, honest to goodness FRIEND, and I'd say that it's perfectly normal and healthy under most circumstances, to feel the need to let off a little steam by complaining (in private) about people that we may find particularly irksome.

Further, I do admit that it's really hard sometimes, to face people that may be odd, bothersome, or just plain rub us the wrong way. Particularly if those people just happen to be family members, or co-workers that are technically in a "superior" position. After all, how DOES one tell someone who's supposed to be a "friend" (or God forbid a relative, or "superior") that they are sometimes really annoying, off putting, or have genuinely offended us -- WITHOUT hurting their feelings, or causing a big stir?

Actually, in my own case, it honestly doesn't take all that much for me to want to distance myself from certain people that, over time, I come to recognize as just plain "toxic." So yes, I freely admit that as the years of my life have rolled on by, I have unfortunately run into various people along the way, that, even if I don't necessarily "hate" them, I eventually find that, no matter how much I may want to, I simply cannot trust them much further than I could physically throw them to not hurt me -- whether intentionally or not.

So really, when it comes to human interactions, it's all about trust. And self protection; which absolutely everyone is entitled to, I figure. Of course it's a shame to ever have to feel this way about certain people, but alas... ain't that just another painful part of all too Human Life down here on poor old, rapidly becoming more and more overpopulated, war-torn, and polluted Mother Earth?

Boy, ain't that the sad truth!

Even sadder and more worrisome still, many social media predatory types aren't just venting to let off a little steam like the average, normal, healthy person. Some of them may even display signs of what tends to look suspiciously like narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals like this clearly crave an inordinate amount of attention -- usually as a form of badly needed self validation. Worse still, is that although they may feel the need to have a really long "friend list" on Facebook, in most cases, they are not truly capable of either feeling genuine empathy, or of being trusted as a true and lasting friend.

Okay, party on, haters! But don't forget that I (and others who may actually be wise enough) have definitely got your number. And even though I'm decent enough to not mention anyone's name in public (which may actually constitute slander at worst, or at best, a nasty case of cyber bullying), sooner or later, just by interacting with you, everybody is going to find out what you're really up to behind the scenes. It's only a matter of time then, before people discover the other face lurking behind your usual, more socially acceptable (and therefore mostly fake) mask.

So don't worry. I'm not after you or anyone else personally. Most of all, I'm simply not going to play your game. I'm only writing this to let you know (in as honest and straightforward a fashion as society commonly allows) that I'm above all that. And, doggonit, you really should be too. In fact, I've got real world problems of my own to deal with, just like everybody else, and better things to do with my time, believe me, than to go around spreading lies and innuendo about absolutely anyone behind their back.