The Hallowed Halls of Time

Alliteration, assonance, consonance, meter, melody, harmony and rhythm; undying echoes and fleeting flashes of brilliance, dancing within the fleeting, flickering light and shadow of the hallowed halls of Time.

I Have Only 2 Rules for Life

Rule #1: Don't expect anyone to actually care. Just do your thing, each and every day, the very best you can. Just keep getting up in the morning and do your absolute best to do what you know deep down is right.

Rule #2: Try to help others when and how you can, but don't take any crap off of anybody. Everybody's got an excuse, but it's nobody's job to take abuse.

Ode to Science Almighty

Each individual is just a cell within an immense, universal body. The collective good of that body is God. The collective bad is called the Devil (the evil), and a slew of other names not even worth mentioning here.

So some people who enter into our lives nourish and help us grow, while others act to introduce deadly viral strains into the collective. Some people may even grow strong within hateful groups (cell cultures) that, ultimately, amount to little more than a deadly cancer of the collective human soul. And all of this, and much more, is merely the most basic of concepts that theologians have posited for countless millennia now.

But don't worry, one day, Science Almighty will finally catch up, just to finally clarify, classify and assign it all the proper scientific terminology. And then they'll sit back, smile smugly to themselves, and act like they invented it all to begin with.

Joseph Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness'

Have you ever felt compelled (or simply been given no other choice, by virtue of school assignment, or the like) to dive headlong into a classic novel that everyone says is such a must read, and then found yourself wondering what all the fuss is about? If so, then you definitely know the feeling I had while reading Joseph Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness.'

Mind you, I love classic literature as much as the next guy, but for me, much of this particular narrative seemed to simply plod on and on (and on) with seemingly aimless abandon.

And given that the story is told in the first person, by Marlow, a ship's captain, who is constantly oozing all sorts of extraneous details (that may leave one mystified as to how they may or may not amount to much in the final analysis), I was also frequently left wondering why one of the crew mates who are supposedly listening to the story didn't just politely (or otherwise not so civilly) ask, urge, or simply beg the rambling fool to cut to the damn chase already!

But don't get me wrong. In truth, many of Conrad's sentences, nay, even full paragraphs, are worded so eloquently, and with what seems to be such casual ease, as to be simply astounding in their descriptive nature; so it's not as if the book doesn't have its definite strong points. To be sure, there are some truly captivating morsels to be had here, so I suppose I really can see why the novella has reached such legendary status over the years.

My problem was not that I thought that the author was not good at dressing a scene and building anticipation for the inevitable outcome of the story, but rather that many of the peripheral characters described just seem to bleed off the page into a blurry mass of such vagueness that it's truly difficult at times to tell some of them apart. Even more pressing, what is the point in mentioning some of them at all?

But it's still a truly thought provoking classic, Conrad's 'Heart of Darkness.' Perhaps even rightfully so. It's a bit puzzling however, that a document that so oft utilizes the much feared and disapproved of "N word" should still be held in such high esteem by so many modern readers to this very day.

Yet perhaps the contrasting portrayals throughout the story of characters who seem to be either eerily and even ominously "dark" or "light" (regardless of the actual color of their skin) is surely one of the most redeeming and ever transfixing aspects of the book.

One way or another, whether at first fully internalized or not, after reading 'Heart of Darkness,' one may invariably be left with the feeling that something profound, primeval, or even otherworldly has been experienced, if not, at the very least, imbibed.

Thus, it must be the author's remarkably descriptive sensibilities that make this book so astoundingly timeless to begin with. Because let's be perfectly honest, apart from Conrad's vivid characterizations and his omnipresent juxtapositional expounding on the overarching theme of good versus evil, there really isn't much in the way of an actual story here, much less a viable plot.

Yet still, as so cleverly embodied by the larger than life, epic personage of the enigmatic Kurtz himself, this classic book really does seem to be all about the magic and the endlessly powerful symbolism of myth. So perhaps what it really all boils down to is what Joseph Campbell so aptly termed, "The Hero's Journey." For it is surely nothing more than the abidingly instinctual, primeval human fear of the unknown that is actually at work deep within Conrad's enigmatic Heart of Darkness.

So perhaps it can all be summed up as little more than our unquenchable fascination (and our never-ending quest to identify) with, the shadowy monsters that forever lurk way, way deep down within the hearts of all men.

Thus, a humble, otherwise obscure and easily forgotten Polish-British author ultimately seems to forever implore his readers, for all ages to come; where, and to what degree, might the ever-deceptive demons of Darkness, as well as the equally mysterious and all powerful forces of Light, where within us all might they truly dwell?

The Shameful Face of Social Media Narcissism

Don't ya just hate it when people personal message you, and always seem to want to gossip about their other "friends" on Facebook? I've unfortunately encountered a few people like that on "two-faced Facebook" over the years. By and large though, most of my social media friends haven't been that way, thank God, but just encountering even one or two folks like that can have the effect of really making a guy feel rather uncomfortable, and even more than a little suspicious.

But okay, fine. Whatever floats some people's social media boat, I guess. But seriously though, if you don't like something someone has said or done to you, just do your best to communicate with them about it personally. You know, FACE THE FACE, for crying out loud! Work it out, already. Or if the person is really THAT horrible, or just plain unapproachable, you could of course just unfriend or block them. And then just... move on with your life. For goodness sake, don't get mean, duplicitous, and snide about it.

PLEASE!

And whatever you do, don't right-click and copy your latest victim's Facebook profile picture, and then send it to me in a chat session, for God's sake! Yeah, seriously. That really happened to me recently. And though, to be fair and honest, I myself had had a prior (though certainly minor) bad experience with the individual in question, I gotta say that I still felt quite offended when my so called Facebook "friend" actually took the time and trouble to suddenly drop this dude's picture on me via chat.

I mean, how horrible! How juvenile even! So at the time, I was really left thinking, 'Sheesh! Are we all really still in junior high school?' I mean, come on! Worst of all, it left me wondering how I'd feel if somebody went to my social media of choice profile and did a right-click on my picture, just so they could run to another "friend" on Facebook (or wherever) and gossip about it!

But yes, I'd had a bit of a bad experience before, with the guy who was in the picture that my "friend" was suddenly sharing with me via Facebook chat. This dude (the one in the picture) had in fact friended me many, many months prior, only to then, very soon after, promptly unfriend me! Okay. Whatever, social media "friend" type person. Neither of us has ever even met FACE TO FACE, so who cares if you suddenly decided, first that you thought you liked me enough to friend me, and THEN, that you just as suddenly came to the conclusion that you really DON'T like me as much as you first thought you did.

Okay. Whatever.

Either way, it seems I managed to upset the guy in the picture my "friend" was suddenly presenting me with when he suddenly popped up in chat one day. Thing is though, at the time, he neglected to inform me that it was actually a multi-party chat session! And since absolutely no one else but he and I were commenting (and I really was busy at the moment and didn't notice that we weren't really having only a two way conversation), I naturally started to talk to this guy as if it was just him and me.

But to make a long story considerably shorter, when I finally figured all this out, I told this dude that, quite frankly, since I had not been informed from the get go, if I was going to have to chat with more than one person, I really didn't feel at all comfortable to continue.

This guy then replied, "X marks the spot," to let me know that all I had to do was close my chat window and be done with it. So I did. And very soon after, I of course discovered that Mr. Former Facebook Friend (which is what I think I'll call him here, because he honestly didn't even bother to so much as ask if I was free to chat at that moment - let alone inform me that it was a multiparty chat session) had suddenly unfriended me.

Okay. Swell! Great even. Done deal.

But apparently, we weren't quite done just yet.... Oh no. No. Nope. Uh-uh. Not even. You see, this dude, and my Other Facebook Friend are both big fans of a certain movie franchise. I love that particular movie franchise myself of course, but I've found that just because other people share my love of that particular sci-fi property, it does NOT mean that I actually have anything else in common with them.

It also, sadly, does not necessarily mean that I can trust, in any appreciable way, shape, or form, any of the people who gravitate together in any of the Facebook groups that celebrate this particular sci-fi movie franchise. Yeah.... Bummer. But hey, that's life, right?

But then, I often shudder to think how "social media" has (or should that be 'anti-social media?'), these days, apparently turned so many so-called "adults" into something suspiciously akin to sniveling little gossips and attention whoring, arm chair politicos, who crave image sharing "likes" and "following," and whom often seem to want nothing more than the power and attention gregariously bestowed upon them by simply becoming the much vaunted head honcho in some darned Facebook group.

Whoa, dude! This meme may be kinda harsh, but it certainly makes a very good point about spending too much time online.

And hey! Lots and lots of people still love Facebook, I guess, so there really is no need to pick on either that particular form of social media, or on all the literally millions (including yours very truly) who honestly do sometimes benefit from it.

Whatever the case may in fact be for anyone and everyone involved, I really must get back to the real issue at hand. Which is that, while responding to what might actually turn out to be a form of chat session baiting, I might even actually end up initially agreeing with someone, that this or that "friend" (that they've decided to target this time around) really is kinda weird, annoying, or in some other way unpleasant.

And why not, right? It's only natural, after all, that when a "friend" approaches you with a grievance about someone they think is creepy, annoying, or even just mildly or entertainingly offensive, that as a friend, I should feel compelled (at first) to take their side in the matter. Of course!

I mean, ain't that what real friends are for?

But then again... if you're coming to me with that kind of clandestine venom about someone you are still very much "friends" with on Facebook (even though that particular person is clearly no longer MY friend, and you damn well KNOW IT), isn't it only natural that I should end up wondering what you are probably also saying about ME behind MY back?

Hmm. Or maybe you're just enjoying the process of pushing my buttons yet again. Maybe you're just manipulating me to get what you want via Facebook, a media platform that surreptitiously gives you ready access to scads and scads of unsuspecting folks that don't know who you really, truly are BEHIND THE AVATAR. Whether you even so much as realize all this about your narcissistic social media celebrity seeking self or not....

So think about all this, my "friend." If you haven't already, you really should. Think hard. Think long. What you're up to really isn't all that hard to figure out, you know. And the more you do it, the more obvious it's going to become to others - no matter how clever you may think you're being in the matter.

Really makes ya wonder sometimes, doesn't it, who people REALLY are BEHIND THE AVATAR?

Okay, I confess! There absolutely are people I myself really, honestly don't like a whole heck of a lot. But then, let's "face" it, pretty much everyone has people in their life that they simply don't particularly care for, or just need to complain about every now and then, don't they? I mean, who doesn't get annoyed with some (or even many of) the people around them sometimes? We may even (and especially) dislike or just have "issues" with family members and co-workers. Surely, all these interpersonal conundrums are normal in most cases, right?

So I guess it's just plain human to feel upset at various people for all sorts of reasons (great and small) from time time. That's just the nature of most typically flawed human relationships, after all.  And when we feel this way, as perfectly normal human beings, most of us usually do need to vent a little. And why not?

See, I figure that venting, and simply letting it all go with the help of someone you can really trust, is what good, healthy relationships are really all about. Well, I'm no practicing psychotherapist, mind you, but I really do know how to be a genuine, honest to goodness FRIEND, and I'd say that it's perfectly normal and healthy under most circumstances, to feel the need to let off a little steam by complaining (in private) about people that we may find particularly irksome.

Further, I do admit that it's really hard sometimes, to face people that may be odd, bothersome, or just plain rub us the wrong way. Particularly if those people just happen to be family members, or co-workers that are technically in a "superior" position. After all, how DOES one tell someone who's supposed to be a "friend" (or God forbid a relative, or "superior") that they are sometimes really annoying, off putting, or have genuinely offended us -- WITHOUT hurting their feelings, or causing a big stir?

Actually, in my own case, it honestly doesn't take all that much for me to want to distance myself from certain people that, over time, I come to recognize as just plain "toxic." So yes, I freely admit that as the years of my life have rolled on by, I have unfortunately run into various people along the way, that, even if I don't necessarily "hate" them, I eventually find that, no matter how much I may want to, I simply cannot trust them much further than I could physically throw them to not hurt me -- whether intentionally or not.

So really, when it comes to human interactions, it's all about trust. And self protection; which absolutely everyone is entitled to, I figure. Of course it's a shame to ever have to feel this way about certain people, but alas... ain't that just another painful part of all too Human Life down here on poor old, rapidly becoming more and more overpopulated, war-torn, and polluted Mother Earth?

Boy, ain't that the sad truth!

Even sadder and more worrisome still, many social media predatory types aren't just venting to let off a little steam like the average, normal, healthy person. Some of them may even display signs of what tends to look suspiciously like narcissistic personality disorder. Individuals like this clearly crave an inordinate amount of attention -- usually as a form of badly needed self validation. Worse still, is that although they may feel the need to have a really long "friend list" on Facebook, in most cases, they are not truly capable of either feeling genuine empathy, or of being trusted as a true and lasting friend.

Okay, party on, haters! But don't forget that I (and others who may actually be wise enough) have definitely got your number. And even though I'm decent enough to not mention anyone's name in public (which may actually constitute slander at worst, or at best, a nasty case of cyber bullying), sooner or later, just by interacting with you, everybody is going to find out what you're really up to behind the scenes. It's only a matter of time then, before people discover the other face lurking behind your usual, more socially acceptable (and therefore mostly fake) mask.

So don't worry. I'm not after you or anyone else personally. Most of all, I'm simply not going to play your game. I'm only writing this to let you know (in as honest and straightforward a fashion as society commonly allows) that I'm above all that. And, doggonit, you really should be too. In fact, I've got real world problems of my own to deal with, just like everybody else, and better things to do with my time, believe me, than to go around spreading lies and innuendo about absolutely anyone behind their back.

Which Wolf Wins? Always, the One You Feed

Yeah, we all sometimes feel the need to push back when someone gets us all riled up. But have you ever noticed that some people actually seem to want, or simply NEED to blow their stack from time to time? In fact, many pent up, deeply frustrated people tend to save up all their stress and anxieties, until they find someone or something they think they can safely and justifiably dump their inner fury onto. Which isn't really healthy when you really think about it. For ourselves or the people around us.

Yes, people shouldn't push us to our limits, but we all have a responsibility to let the people around us know when enough is enough. It's just a matter of knowing how to establish boundaries for oneself, and learning how to keep the all too predatory wolf in others at bay. And let's face it, mankind is still a more and/or less predatory animal in most respects.

All of this becomes even more apparent when living long term in any one of several Northeast Asian countries (as I most definitely have), where people are expected to keep their emotions in check (or simply under cover) all the time. So it's not that people in the Far East are all somehow genetically endowed with the godlike power to be the walking, talking epitome of wise old Mr. Miyagi (from The Karate Kid). 'Cause wouldn't the very notion technically be "racist?" So it's rather that the strictures of Asian CULTure simply will not allow the vast majority of people within their highly structured societies to express even the simplest, and often most beneficial of human emotions.

Seriously! Living with and among people who fancy themselves "stoic" in more (and often considerably less) modern Asia is actually a lot like living on the planet Vulcan, of Star Trek fame. You know, like how, Mr. Spock famously never loses his highfalutin cool and venerable Vulcan logic. Except when he actually finally does, that is. And when he does lose it, he tends to lose it in a very big way. And believe it or not, so do people from typically pent up societies right here on Earth, in places where just about any healthy, straightforward and HONEST public display of emotion is frowned upon.

Well, you see, kids, this all started a long, long time ago, during a Chinese Dynasty (the Zhou, to be exact) far, far away, where there lived this dude named 孔夫子 (otherwise known as Confucius). And boy, was "Master Kong" awfully, awfully concerned about people being able to control (or simply appear to control) their social interactions with one another.

In fact, old Confucius was apparently so interested in controlling people, that his teachings are nowadays still very much the basic blueprint for what is and isn't acceptable social behavior in places like China, Taiwan (the Republic of China), Korea, and Japan. Heck! Even some highly Americanized Filipinos I've known over the years often seemed to have major problems with the display of any public emotion that isn't "happy." Or faux happy at the very least.

"No, you are happy!" a presumably well meaning (but overbearingly so) elder Filipino co-worker once kept repeating to me, over and over, and OVER AGAIN, when I was having a particularly tough and gloomy day. Now mind you, I wasn't killing anybody that particular day. I wasn't burning down buildings and skewering innocent babies, or anything clearly hideous like that either.

NO! I just didn't look FAKE HAPPY while minding my own damn business, doing my job to the usual best of my humble ability. And in my own country (where many people simply don't feel obliged to be phony), no less. I just simply wasn't all that happy that day. But I don't even really remember why now, so it couldn't have been that bad, now could it? But I sure do remember how overbearing this old guy got with me about MY bad day!

'Cause believe me, being forced to look "happy" (by a guy who wasn't even my boss) can be awfully overbearing when it just doesn't seem like a truly genuine thing to do. And even if this old dude was honestly trying to cheer me up, where did HE get off telling ME how I should FEEL? Was the bossy old fart in MY shoes? No. I think NOT.

But I try to like everybody everywhere as often as I can, of course, so let's not target, or get too fussy about any one group of people, shall we? Live and let live, I always say! Well, not always, but I'm sure there's somebody or other who honestly thinks they always, always, always believe all that fancy stuff. You know, like... oh... politicians, and all the people with those lengthy lists of "friends" on social media sites like Facebook. Those people. The perfect ones. The ones who never make mistakes. They never get angry. Well, sometimes, they certainly do have to throw their thunderbolts down from mighty Mount Olympus, do they not?

Unless... they never experience cyberbullying, or have to deal with angry little Internet trolls. Actually, they do have to deal with people like that (on and off the Internet), of course. We all do, in the Real World. But let's get back to the real point, shall we? Which is: A certain percentage of people from every walk of life, in every country, of every so-called "race," color, creed, you name it, are simply TWO FACED. There are of course various reasons for this, but it's still a fact, nonetheless. Yeah.  Sucks, too.  But that's the way a whole lot of our fellow human beans are, you know. Heck, I've even had a few Japanese friends who jokingly told me, "Some of us are even three faced!" Well... at least I hope they were joking....

But then, the art of cultivating effective social interactions and good, healthy methods of self expression isn't something that is necessarily taught anywhere, is it? So being sociable anywhere in the world can be pretty tough (no matter what Confucius supposedly said). Especially on the Internet, where we often can't even really see or know exactly who it is that we're actually interacting with. Which can actually be kind of scary, if you really stop and think about it.

But some people really do seem to need to "bait and switch." They love to play the victim, who can suddenly become the righteously indignant reverse-aggressor (consciously or not). In fact, this can be highly rewarding for many people who don't really know either how to express themselves in an honest, open, and healthy way, or they simply would rather not have to. But here's the thing; being aware of one's own personal limits and effectively communicating what is and isn't acceptable for everyone involved is everyone's responsibility. No exceptions!

True, it usually takes time to sort these things out with people we come in contact with throughout the course of our lives. The worst part is that many people simply don't show others their true selves. So if someone you know seems to be too good (or too bad) to be true, they probably really are. Many of these people tend to ooze a kind of "social honey," hoping to catch as many unsuspecting flies as possible, only to show you a dramatically less appealing, and much less outwardly amiable personality than what you originally thought you were getting -- especially when the chips are down, or when they think nobody is looking.

One way or another, learning to set your own boundaries, and becoming sensitive enough to be aware of the limitations of others is often a gradual and sometimes quite hard won process. Worst of all, there really aren't any instruction booklets (though I suppose one can spend a fortune on "self help" books), so learning to recognize which kind of individuals are more apt to push your buttons, and thereby push you to your limits, is often a lifelong process.

In the final analysis, remember that you and you alone are responsible for your own actions. After a major blow up, you can always say that the devil made you do it, but unless you are full of the same kind of conceit and self denial that helps most truly deceptive people to remain hidden behind various social behaviors that mask their true nature, you will already be able to readily recognize that you're not perfect either. None of us are.

In other words, there's a bit of the Devil in all of us! And it's usually buried right down there alongside the GOoD, where it fights for eventual, ultimate supremacy. So some of us are just more open and honest about who we really are than others. And if you cannot admit that to yourself and to the people closest to you, then you may actually be the one who has the most to learn (about yourself and others). But then, knowing how much or how little of the "bad" or the "good guy" that lies deep down in all of us, just waiting to rise up from the depths of Self Righteous Heaven or Hell, is the real trick, isn't it?

20090106 - Me, Angry?