I Hate Twitter

My response to a Twitter survey, as to why I would not recommend it to anyone else:

"I totally do not get Twitter. No. Actually, I think I really do. For starters, Twitter has total A-HOLE requirements when it comes to posting status updates. Why's that, you ask? What's that, you say? You mean, I'm not "clever" because I can't (don't choose to) always boil everything down into just a few caveman words/anally specified number of typewritten characters?

Nice try, but that's just a rude, arrogant pseudo-argument/inadequately sized bandage of a pathetic excuse, designed to draw attention away from the truly gaping hole of a massive weakness in the defined parameters of the Twitter app!

That's right! I said it! And I wrote it, too! A 140 character limit for a social media platform is just plain stupid.

See, really intelligent people usually tend to write and even read lengthy books and scholarly papers, just to express/grasp even simple ideas (because most people, if you hadn't noticed, just aren't "clever" enough to pick up many basic concepts for themselves without lengthy and repeated instruction on the matter).

Therefore, it is usually only know it all A-holes and bumpkins who go around spouting pseudo-wisdom (Bible/Quran/Book of Mormon verse, party slogans, what have you) in what usually becomes hastily spouted, half-assed colloquial sound bites.

And they do this because it only takes a sentence or two for them to self gratifyingly ejaculate their self righteous brain farts all over everyone else. Even worse, they usually heard most of what they carelessly rattle off from somebody else anyway, and don't even know fully what they're saying means most of the time either!

Or... maybe the grandmasters/wonderful wizards of cyberspace Oz behind Twitter the Great and Powerful think everybody just has a really short attention span? Like this wonderful little cocker spaniel my folks used to have when I was a kid. Cute and loveable, but not especially smart.

Nah! Seeing everyone around you but yourself that way is actually kind of... oh, I don't know... ARROGANT AS HELL, isn't it?

Just maybe.

Either way, Twitter is a great tool for attention whoring wannabe authors (who should be spending their time actually writing books, instead of tweeting about how they want to be authors). I will give you that much. Either way, no, I would not recommend Twitter to anybody. And sorry, but you did ask.

And if you'll excuse me, I'm on my way out of cyberspace Oz now. 'Cause see, "Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't already have."